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Current Status: Feeling abundantly loved 💕.
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Happy Friday everyone! I'm currently in wedding production so I havent been able to see all the abundance of loving posts going on, but the few I have inspired me to post my own.
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I've been reflecting a lot these past few days, and as a side note can share that my thyroid levels and symptoms are now, after 6 weeks of going back on medication normal and manageable. During my reflection, I sat in silence, dug real deep, past all the stress, worry and anguish.. and found my heart throbbing, bursting, with so much love and gratitude.
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Graves Disease has changed me a lot, and in some twisted way I see it as a gift. It has forced me to have courage, humility, grace and has also taught me the act of letting go.
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It takes a lot of courage to share that I have a lot of trying days with my autoimmune journey and a lot of humility to actually ask people for help. I've learned to give myself a lot of grace in not being able to give myself and loved ones all the energy I wish I could, and have found peace with all that has come and gone as a result.
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My heavy heart is not because life's been challenging .. but because I've realized I've never felt so loved in my life! Despite my shortcomings I am so thankful to my loved ones, clients, people in the industry, all of you, and even to this body of mine for insisting to be there and seeing me through. I have received so many heartfelt emails and messages, my heart is so full. I am so thankful for everyone's ongoing love, support, and compassion and to everyone who doesn't look at my Graves Disease as a crutch or weakness.
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To all that continue to ride for me, work with me, and reach out to me even with all my brutal realness, honesty and transparency... Know that I am so freaking thankful for you. Thank you for loving me for me... 🙏🏼
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#happyvalentinesday #love #thoughts #quotes #nofilter #gravesdisease

THE BEAUTY OF HONESTY 🙏🏼.
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A value I hold near and dear with ABD is HONESTY. I like to be very open and honest with clients from the beginning and let them know I have a minimum and also consult very honestly when consulting about design and budget.
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A great example is this classic ceremony setup at the Asian Art Museum in San Francisco. All 6 of these tall statement arrangements were then repurposed as centerpieces during the reception adding more value to the pieces and keeping an impactful design.
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Photography: @brandonjferlin .
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#sanfrancisco #classic #asian #wedding #ceremomy #photooftheday

CITY HALL WEDDING VIBES got me like.. 🎉
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Throwback to my very first City Hall wedding and first year of business! Can't believe this was less than two years ago! It's so crazy thinking of how much we've been able to evolve in a year!.
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Photography : @amandaweiphoto
Florals: @aprilbaytan
Venue: @sanfranciscocityhall .
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#sanfrancisco #sanfranciscocityhallwedding #love #bouquet #throwback

I LOVE CITY HALL WEDDINGS! 💕
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I have a soft spot for intimate City Hall weddings. I love getting away from the chaos of all the logistics of a larger wedding and being able to take a moment with Chris to just take in the love of our bride and groom and send them positive vibes. It melts my heart seeing the two of them look into eachother's eyes, walking and caring for one another away from tons of family and friends. Just them, our flowers, the photographer and their incredible love.
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Photography: @jessicakay_photo
Flowers: @aprilbaytan
Ribbon: @silkandwillow .
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#sanfrancisco #sanfranciscocityhallwedding #love #bouquet #marthaweddings

BLESSING OF THE HANDS.
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... These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future... These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other... These are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.
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I completely admire a couple like @stirandstyle June and Dan, a couple who who not only chooses to be romantic partners in life, but partners in business as well. Having met my husband @tophbacon in college and sharing a work relationship before it fruitioned into a romantic one and continuing to work in business alongside him, I know the difficult challenges of balancing both as well as the abundant rewards of companionship through out.
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It's a connection like no other, to build a life in all aspects with one another and share in full ALL life's highs and lows. To treat our lives as one and choosing to continually see love and beauty in each other after going through major stresses in business... learning to compartmentalize different aspects and pushing through with just enough assertiveness to get things done and yet so much tenderness to come out far from broken ...still able to go to sleep with a smile across eachother's face.
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This type of relationship isn't for everyone, some people call it being too codependent. But for me atleast, I find so much joy in being with Chris for 10+ years and him being my favorite person. The life we've built together makes me so happy... So I'm going to bask in it for as long and often as I possibly can.
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Love is beautiful, it's what we all strive for. Cheers to love and cheers to the married life.
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Photography: @myonelove
Planning: @tickled_events
Florals: @aprilbaytan
Dress: @idancohenofficial @kinsleyjamescouturebridal .
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#mondaymotivation #couplegoals #goals #picoftheday #photooftheday #blessed

FAITH - complete trust or confidence in someone or something.
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Often times when we think about faith it stems from a feeling of FEAR. I'm sitting here currently stuck on that sentence and realize, slightly embarrassed to say... It's been a very long time since I've been a person of FAITH.
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Instead of FAITH I've had FIGHT. When the woman who raised me was dying my brother asked her to describe each one of her grandchildren in one word, she looked at me and said - FIGHTER. I have been fighting all my life. Why leave things to FAITH if I can FIGHT for it?
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I have been fighting to have an incredible life and without a doubt I can say I have one. At the age of 31, I have achieved every goal I've set before me, I have everything I could ever need or want and so much more.
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This year, along with a good amount of FIGHT, I am going to take a leap of FAITH. I find myself at a weird yet peaceful place where I don't feel like I have to FIGHT anymore. It’s taking a good ammount of time to adjust and unwire and unlearn all the doing to simply BE.
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This is why I love married life- you have someone to lean on. So as much as I may lack FAITH in myself. I have complete FAITH in HIM and I have conplete FAITH in US. @tophbacon with you i’ll choose FAITH over FEAR any day.
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What would you be doing with your life right now if you didn't have to FIGHT anymore?
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Photography: @amanda.callaway
Florals: @aprilbaytan
Vintage Chair: @nteventplanning .
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#goodmorning #real #thoughts #faith #film

"Because of you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more." - unknown.
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SHOUTOUT to all the squads out there with class.. cuz my best and I almost got in a fight over the weekend during my cousins birthday with some loudmouth and my best and others handled it like a boss.. me not so much lol... I think my 30's is a good time to stop going to clubs in Oakland.
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On the flip side, this weekend reminded me I'm terribly lucky to have such amazing friends. My longest friendship is with my best @chiyokobeauty and I met her at the age of 23. People often grow up dreaming of life long friendships rooted in childhood but these friendships I've gained as an adult... not out of convenience, but by choice are friendships that have felt the most natural, have explored the most depth and are the ones I know I will have for the rest of my life. I love and cherish you guys!
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Featured on @stylemepretty
Photography: @saramweir
Planner: @jmkevents
Floral Design: @aprilbaytan
MUA + Hair: @beautybychaunguyen
Dress: @maggiesotterodesigns @janenesbridalboutique .
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#featured #stylemepretty #sanfrancisco #real #wedding #friendship #quotes

SELF LOVE SUNDAY 💖.
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I thought about starting off this post by apologizing for being so deep and so down these past couple of days.. weeks.. and then I thought... Why should I? It's my feed it's my life... This is real.
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When I got the flu and a fever over the holidays... I was experiencing symptoms that could have been the fever.. could have been Graves... Shortly after recovering from the fever my symptoms subsided so I thought I could go on without medication and give my body more time to potentially cure itself... I was holding onto hope and indenial.
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A few days ago the symptoms hit me hard. Tremors with my hands, emotions all over the place... wanting to cry and not understanding why... tired AF, struggling to get out of bed, body aches, tons of anxiety, my heart beating like crazy.
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I was sitting at work trying to hold my coffee still and not cry. As good as I am with my words I can't describe the kind of fear and paranoia that came over me as I researched my disease and searching for posts, videos, podcasts anything to give me some sort of comfort.
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I have finally accepted it (not gracefully) and am completely back on medication. It takes about three weeks to have your thyroid fully adjust to treatment etc. But I can already feel an improvement.
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I write this post not just to help me process what I'm currently going through but also because it's through other people's posts that has provided me a sense of comfort in knowing I'm not alone.
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I have Graves disease, hyperthyroidism.. and with treatment hypothyroidism - confusing right? It may feel like a more challenging life, but it is a beautiful life. Thanks to everyone for sending me love, sharing advice!
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Photography: @jennysoifoto
Planning/Design: @nteventplanning
Floral Design: @aprilbaytan
Hair + Makeup: @aimeeartistry
Robes: @domenica_domenica
Featured: @chicvintagebrides .
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#thyroidawarenessmonth #gravesdisesse #hyperthyroidism #hypothyroidism #real #thoughts

2009 vs 2019 💭.
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It didn't make sense to me that a 10 year challenge would happen in the year 2019. Why? Doesn't 2020 make more sense? Either way it made me curious of what I was up to 10 years ago so I went through my old journals and planners to find out.
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Turns out... 2009 was one of the worst years of my life. In my journal I wrote that a good friend said to me "you keep yourself so productive all the time because if you have too much free time you'll think too much and it's never positive.".
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I hated myself in 2009. I hated myself for many years prior and after. In 2009 I was fighting so hard to be something to someone... everyone, but myself. It was my senior year of college, I was president of an organization, interning and working, in between relationships (we all know how that goes), I lost my best friends, I tried to pledge sororities to gain new ones, I felt the pressures from family and never felt understood... I felt so alone and tried to belong and find love everywhere.
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There are a handful of people who truly know how difficult that year was for me, and maybe in the near future, after 10 years I'll find the courage to share...
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But for now, my heart simply breaks for my 21 year old self. If I could tell my past self anything ... I'd just wanna hold her and tell her you are beautiful and YOU ARE ENOUGH.
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It may have taken 10 years, but hey, better late than never! Today I know I AM ENOUGH... A million times over, more than enough. And so are all of you.
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#10yearchallenge #quotes #real #nofilter #iamenough

FEATURED ON @stylemepretty FRONT PAGE!
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So overjoyed to have one of our real weddings featured on SMP! It was such a great experience working with Jessica to design her wedding. I love that she dreamed of a soft color palette of garden style florals and enjoyed her immense trust in my work.
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The florals were really the focus of this design so we kept all other elements in the design neutral to allow the florals to shine! These velvet @latavolalinen are amongst my favorite of their selection so I was thrilled that Jessica went with them!.
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Jessica was wonderful in giving me complete creative freedom and with that outpoured some of my favorite works! I love how the the organic florals I placed on the simple white cake came about and how the sweetheart table became such a beautiful focus of the reception... Lastly I'll never forget having the opportunity to work with the ridiculously talented @saramweir and have her shoot my work! It was a dream come true!
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Go check it out @stylemepretty !
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Photography: @saramweir
Planner: @jmkevents
Florals: @aprilbaytan
Linen: @latavolalinen
Calligraphy: @slibbrechtstudio
MUA + Hair: @beautybychaunguyen
Dress: @maggiesotterodesigns @janenesbridalboutique
Video: @etceteraphoto
DJ: @joel_strive_barrera .
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#featured #stylemepretty #sanfrancisco #real #wedding

A reflection of my Asian mother. 💖.
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One of my most favorite images of when I got married is of when my mother and I saw each other for the first time. It was the first time in my lifetime that I saw her with a feminine beauty, softness and light. My mother was so beautiful I cried.
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Asian daughters can be hard on their mothers. Often, were raised with tough love and a lack of intimacy and as a result carry with us child pains that flow into our adulthood and relationships - we get frustrated and blame it on our parents and never get over it. .
Friends, if you want to love and be happy with your parents, from my experience, it's through UNDERSTANDING. Don't try to get over the pain, go THROUGH it. Forgive them, even if they don't ask for it, and as an adult, take ownership of your pain, your life and heal yourself. Learn to love the way you want to.
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I share all of this because, it was with my mom that I found out I still had Graves Disease, it's my mom who's there helping me prepare for every wedding, my mom who got things done when I was struggling with symptoms, my mom up with me till 1am in the morning designing and my mom cooking breakfast the next day making sure I eat. It's my mom continuing to provide even though she doesn't have to.
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I used to resent her constant providing and not giving me hugs and kind words... But through understanding I see it's how she knows to show her love, and I'm so grateful. I see her for the human being she is with her own experiences and journey and I have so much respect for her and her constant strive to do and give her best.
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There's hope people... It's just sometimes you have to take the wheel. My mom and I are growing our relationship more intimately as I get older through understanding and hard work, and patience, and those I love yous that I'd hardly hear before are now becoming more abundant and less weird to hear. I love you mom, thank you for everything!
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📷 @dannydong .
#asian #mom #love #thoughts #wedding

A BEAUTIFUL MIND 💭.
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www.pinterest.com/aprilbaytan .
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It's hump day, and working a desk job for me is challenging. When I'm struggling and in a slump, I take a breathe, reach for my @bluebottle coffee, and head over to my @pinterest account and add quotes, words, and feelings to my A BEAUTIFUL MIND board.
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Feel free to take a peep if you’re in need of some inspiration or kind words for yourself! It’s really become a cherished simple collection of mine! Let me know your thoughts.
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#pinterest #inspiration #selflove #quotes #checkitout

SAN FRANCISCO . NORTHERN CALIFORNIA . NAPA VALLEY

© 2017 APRIL BAYTAN DESIGNS